Some days you have to put your guard up, be a little heartless because you have to protect yourself – your heart. So you don’t end up picking up your broken pieces because you let someone into your life, trusting them but she was wrong like always. Thinking he was different but she gave parts of her to him, lovingly, she doesn’t always verbally say it and honestly never told a boy she loves him because she’s liked ones but loved one or two but too shy to tell them.
Sometimes you wish you fought a little harder, find out what you did wrong, maybe you’re just too nice, gullible and naive. To think that what you both had could’ve been real – genuine.
You cannot be vulnerable and love one another if you cannot trust one another. To love is to be vulnerable.
She let him into her life, share intimacy – words of intimacy, things she was afraid of, he shared his fair amount but one day it was just gone like everything else, like so many people in her life gone. She wishes sometimes, she could take all those feelings and memories, retract her steps back into time and wish she hadn’t had met him or slowly caught deep feelings for him and his well being, because it hurts to much to like someone and care for them but they don’t see you the same way – like an option. So many words unspoken, or so many words misinterpreted because she always miscommunicates herself so the beautiful soul of hers doesn’t even remember how to smile anymore…
This is before she met him, relaxed and afterwards after he left her confused and puzzled to pick up her pieces of mixed emotions.